Introvert.

I don't know how to describe my feelings nowadays. I just feel reluctant towards everything i do. Where is my enthusiasm? Long gone with the wind? Talking about wind, it's been raining cats and dogs everyday now! My clothes will never get dry if this continues okay? Then, what am i supposed to wear? =.=" Back to topic, i seriously need extra driving force in everything i'm supposed to do. Maybe it's not what i am interested in, that's why i'm constantly thinking that it's not worth my time and effort. Or maybe it's the people i am working with that matters. I think the latter is more like it. I miss my high school friends so much =( I just can't clique well the people here. Well, i did study. I studied most of the time to be exact but nothing seems to enter my brain. Everything is so tough and detail with all those crazy jargons. I need a more condusive environment to settle down. I am constantly feeling very restless which causes me to feel that i don't belong here, that's why i'm still searching a comfort zone before i can really focus on what i do. Take volleyball for instance, i used to love playing it. And i'm still loving it. There are practices almost every evening for SUKEM if it's not raining. I am supposed to go and improve my skills before the real thing arrives. I know i should. Well, must a more proper word. But i just don't have the motivation to go down there and practice. And if i'm selected to play in the tournament and if we actually win a place, the merit that i'll be getting is enough for me to secure a place in KTSN next year. Why? I miss playing volleyball with my buddies. People who really know who am i. It's much more enjoyable that way. I miss playing badminton with those KHS fellas too ='( Talking about badminton, SUKEM selection for badminton is happening right now. I wanted to join desperately but i don't have a racquet with me right now damn!

I've had a quick peek at how it would be like before i actually been here. By that i mean my short days in matriculation two or three years back. I suck at making new friends. Cause i am not aggressive assertive enough? Just not sociable lah! I can't hardly find topic to get a conversation goes on. Mum is so good at it. Why is it not in my gene? How am i supposed to know? I hate biology =/ Since then, i know well that my life in university will never be easy. Communication skills? Mine is terrible. How am i going to survive in an environment in which social skills are so crucial and required? How am i going to endure my four solid years here? There's always this fear deep inside the introvert, me.

Borrowed books from the library for the first time. Hope i will remember to return them. Or else they won't let me graduate =.="

Lovely treat from my coursemate =) 

Because i keep telling her that i wanna go that mamak stall near our campus.

I am grateful that i can at least find a friend who shares the same thought as me. Someone who i can talk to without feeling uncomfortable and awkward. Someone who will accompany me to places. Someone to sit with in the bus. She was a form six student too =)))

Purposely took the bus to campus to attend Pembangunan Diri class from 5pm to 7pm today and guess what? The class is cancelled at the last minute! @#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!! Waste my precious sleeping studying time! Next week's class will be extended to 8pm and we'll have to walk back cause the last bus will leave at 7pm. Zzz!!

Praying hard that uni life can ease a little.

Keeping my fingers crossed! >.<"